https://www.facebook.com/groups/522627249056969/posts/523518682301159/
https://twitter.com/drdanielcook/status/1421362151491608577
— Karen Swallow Prior (Notorious KSP at The Priory) (@KSPrior) July 31, 2021
Hymn singing on prime time mainstream BBC One, peak vocation level unlocked
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) July 31, 2021
M. Night Shyamalan’s full name is Movie Night Shyamalan
— @ kumars on bluesky (@KumarsSalehi) July 30, 2021
Incredible scenes @AlexScott. What a class act. https://t.co/YPcMxierhz pic.twitter.com/ekxgqJjfaB
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 31, 2021
Another fascinating mind-bending illusion. There is no yellow in the circle below (!). Instead, our brain very confidently fills the gap of the colour scheme.
— Lionel Page (@page_eco) July 31, 2021
by @AkiyoshiKitaoka pic.twitter.com/U9GNV0vUqX
https://t.co/X3OJdLgRVu pic.twitter.com/tfM1SdrLgZ
— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) July 26, 2021
If @maxwhitlock1 wins an Olympic Gold medal and doesn’t give me and @RomeshRanga a shout out for helping him in training I’m gonna be furious.
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) August 1, 2021
I have aged more in the past five weeks of lockdown than Paul Rudd has in the 26 years since Clueless https://t.co/LxdFWYUEZW
— Nick Bond (@bondnickbond) August 1, 2021
visualizing prime factors pic.twitter.com/MaRxcDaE15
— Matt Henderson (@matthen2) July 31, 2021
At the 1928 Olympics, rower Henry Pearce stopped mid-race to let a family of ducks safely cross his lane.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 1, 2021
He still won the heat. pic.twitter.com/ikNUSwEfVi
Lamont Marcell Jacobs might have been born in Texas but no one can deny the Italianess he inherited from his mother’s side pic.twitter.com/bT8Y73QYwC
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) August 1, 2021
Dear @Olympics, in the dressage and eventing there should be two people in a pantomime horse costume who have to do the exact same thing as the horses so we see where the bar is being set. We would like the exclusive rights to this.
— Dave (@davechannel) August 2, 2021
I've gone above 'To Kill A Mockingbird' in the Kindle charts. It has been a long battle with Harper Lee since 1960 and, I won't lie, at times I felt like she was getting the better of me. https://t.co/zsQv4uLh03
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) August 2, 2021
Olympic sports translated:
— Dave (@davechannel) August 2, 2021
Dressage – Horse Disco
Fencing – Beekeeper fight
Badminton – Smaller tennis
Ping pong – Even smaller tennis
Wrestling – Body arguments
Lesson learned. https://t.co/gOQGsdb7kH
— @mrchrisaddison@dizl.de (@mrchrisaddison) August 2, 2021
It's not a proper Olympics until you watch an event and say "Oh that was amazing" to yourself seconds before the commentator says "and they'll be devastated with that performance", once again proving you have no idea what you're talking about.
— Dave (@davechannel) August 2, 2021
To be clear, I do not think it’s racist not to believe in snow. Oh twitter. https://t.co/uGTLYBh8gr
— Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی (@ShappiKhorsandi) August 2, 2021
Sir Steve Redgrave 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇
— Sam Quek (@SamanthaQuek) August 3, 2021
Sir Chris Hoy 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇
Sir Mo Farah 🥇🥇🥇🥇
And Jason Kenny🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇
ALL born on 23rd March 🤯#TeamGB #Olympics #Tokyo2020
Every time I see a headline about the Olympic team pursuit, I read it as ‘Trivial Pursuit’ and I momentarily think I have a chance of making Paris2024 – though my lack of basic reading ability is bound to let me down in qualifying. 😦
— James Harkin (@JamesHarkin) August 3, 2021
I once said yes to an interview with David Mitchell, on a topic I had nothing meaningful to say, on the off chance she might be there.
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) August 3, 2021
It’s not just Dads
Grammar. What's the plural of Moses? 'Two Moseses' looks wrong and sounds clumsy. Apostrophe surely only for possession. Every web page I've found assumes you are wanting the plural of a surname, but I live in an odd cartoon world where I need to write such things…
— Dave Walker (@davewalker) August 3, 2021
My first reaction, of course, was that my child is expected to exceed expectations … which on reflection merely sets a new expectation for them to meet. So I'm back at square one. And even if I had low expectations, I'd still be stuck in this philosophical loop. https://t.co/pf99SXMhs6
— The Church Mouse (@thechurchmouse) August 2, 2021
"Can I sit next to you? I'm double vaxxed." Lovely Nat, what a charmingly dystopian greeting you've got yourself there.
— Nat Luurtsema (@natluurtsema) August 3, 2021
You’ve heard of cinnamon rolls, but have you heard of pesto Parmesan rolls? 😍 pic.twitter.com/M32rdMjYb3
— Justin Sytsma (@justinsytsma) August 2, 2021
Don’t even get me started on all the ‘I don’t actually even own a TV’ twats. No you don’t but you have a laptop that you use to watch all the shows on you prick.
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) August 3, 2021
I’m ok guys. Sometimes I just over think things. Like why do all coach drivers wear short sleeve shirts? Is it a rule or a coincidence?
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) August 3, 2021
This is crying out for @joelycett to register a car to the DVLA address. Or the head of the DVLA’s home.
— Ross (@cheltenhamross) August 3, 2021
somebody has to make a study about how james corden find his way into EVERY musical movie https://t.co/0uaF3xDSye
— bren (@ceceparckh) August 3, 2021
My 8 year old daughter giggled when I told her about my friend Greg because ‘your friends have such old fashioned names!’
— Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی (@ShappiKhorsandi) August 4, 2021
Her best friends are Betty and Mabel.
It's never too early for Christmas🎄😉 https://t.co/ZrY8L2N05n
— John Lewis & Partners (@JohnLewisRetail) August 5, 2021
The dining table at our rental house is glass. This is what I see for the entire meal. pic.twitter.com/JmTyf6oymY
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) August 5, 2021
This is the moment I told my sister @carriehopefletcher that I was doing @bbcstrictly and she just burst out laughing in my face. 🤷🏼♂️🤣 https://t.co/GPPmsqTKUk pic.twitter.com/nN1fDFdpuB
— Tom Fletcher (@TomFletcher) August 4, 2021
A reminder as names are announced for @bbcstrictly and soon @imacelebrity just because you don’t know who someone is it doesn’t mean they aren’t known. Google is your friend. My kids had never heard of Su Pollard and I’d never heard of Charlie D’Amelio
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) August 5, 2021
Why do children read their favourite books over and over again but grown-ups don’t? After all, we’re a lot more likely to have forgotten what’s in them.
— Victoria Coren Mitchell (@VictoriaCoren) August 5, 2021
PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN pic.twitter.com/4kz8cFJFh0
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 3, 2021
Sometimes you have to hold your hands up and say, I didn't realise this, but my laptop screen is astonishingly dirty.
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) August 5, 2021
If Max Verstappen does miss out on the title this year he definitely would not have lost out by his own means up to this point. Two incidents where he was completely faultless and a third where he can only take minor blame has cost him potentially 70 points already. pic.twitter.com/iBPvGum72K
— Taylor (@TPowlingF1) August 4, 2021
This is Alfalfa. He’s had a little sprout on his noggin since he was a puppy. Used to be self conscious about it, but has learned to love himself just the way he is. 14/10 pic.twitter.com/TkPDAqxvcL
— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) August 4, 2021
Really proud of the work the Child Food Poverty Taskforce has done to support the uptake of the @NHSHealthyStart @coopuk added £1 to value of vouchers @Tesco added £1 to value of vouchers@LidlGB added £1.15 to value of vouchers@waitrose added £1.50 to value of vouchers
— Marcus Rashford (@MarcusRashford) August 5, 2021
Yup
— Anna Curnow (@athom01) August 5, 2021
Can’t work in NHS without Hep B
Certain countries require yellow fever
Visually impaired not allowed to drive
We make health decisions for the greater good all the time. https://t.co/RMaKN2HiTz
Has anyone else laminated their double jabbed vaccine card or am I just a fucking legend?
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) August 5, 2021
As it's revealed there's a timber shortage due to 'unprecedented' post-lockdown demand, No 10 releases step-by-step guide to making a cabinet entirely out of dead wood: pic.twitter.com/Vmjojgq5ap
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 5, 2021
While acknowledging my privilege, and apart from your loved ones, what are the curious things in your holiday cottage?
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) August 5, 2021
I’ll go first
An aerial picture of the #Decathlon competitors post the 1500m race #Tokyo2020 #Olympics pic.twitter.com/HquO0hMhj3
— Sam Quek (@SamanthaQuek) August 6, 2021
What’s the thing about your partner that is both adorable/commendable and irritating at the same time?
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) August 6, 2021
If mine is not satisfied by a company/venue/restaurant/hotel’s recycling facilities, he will take all our rubbish home with him.
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) August 6, 2021
This is why today we’re driving 300 miles with a bag full of bottles, mixed plastics and cardboard in the footwell
I can’t believe how good @TomDaley1994 is at knitting. He knitted that cardigan and his spare time won an Olympic gold medal. pic.twitter.com/gODkHpyNPH
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) August 6, 2021
Thrilling chase underway here…. pic.twitter.com/Gdn946dpGq
— Paul (@GannetPaul) August 6, 2021
Fun things to do on the weekend:
— Dave (@davechannel) August 7, 2021
– Plan to tidy up but have a sit down instead
– Plan to do something exciting but have a sit down instead
– Plan to do the chores you've been putting off but have a sit down instead
– Panic about what this week brings whilst having a sit down
Latest edition in shops now! pic.twitter.com/DlshSKw1za
— Private Eye Magazine (@PrivateEyeNews) August 7, 2021
Betcha can’t watch just once… https://t.co/EYVOkGiJyp
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 5, 2021
Good for him pic.twitter.com/Fx4wIwYciC
— Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods) August 7, 2021
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people that raisins or sultanas belong in coronation chicken.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 7, 2021
Duffle coat on. Duffle coat off. Duffle coat on. Duffle coat off.
— Paddington (@paddingtonbear) August 7, 2021
So The Macarena is 25 yrs old this week, so what better way to celebrate than watching our (perhaps too) erotic rendition of it from our Dave Tv special from a couple of years ago.. https://t.co/xo4MkeZyPV
— The Horne Section (@hornesection) August 7, 2021
➡️Boris Johnson laughed about the climate crisis
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) August 7, 2021
➡️He flew to Cornwall for the G7
➡️His climate minister flew to 30 countries in 7 months
➡️His climate ministry took 612 domestic flights since 2019
I have every confidence his hosting of COP26 will be a great success.
I want to see the reply to this. pic.twitter.com/z13S59bXcz
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) August 7, 2021
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?